One of the first stressors that I realized was the amount of time that I spend away from my husband. From the moment that he enlisted in the military he was away for Basic Training and AIT (Advanced Individual Training). This was the start of our separations. While he was still in the states, I was not able to have much communication with him. This was really difficult for me. I have realized that with future deployments I have gotten much stronger. I had to tend to my family alone, but it definitely got easier for me. I relied a lot on other military wives for support.
When he first left, I found it difficult to sleep at night. I waited up every night hoping and praying for a phone call from him. Sometimes he called, sometimes he didn’t. It was hard for me to keep up with my day to day routine. I couldn’t eat very much because I got very depressed. When I did eat, it was not the healthy foods that my body needed. I lost a lot of weight at first due to this. I have seen others that have eaten to make themselves happy, and this caused them to gain weight. It really takes a huge toll on your physical health.
Another big stressor that we faced was financial difficulty. Anyone that has been in the military knows that the military service members are very under paid. When he first joined it was hard for us to make ends meet without military loans. He started out as an E1, or Private. Once you are able to move up in rank, the pay will increase incrementally. One thing that really helped us was the housing allowance, or BAH. All active duty service members are given this allowance to help them pay for a place to live.
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| Military loans can help support the families and households of enlisted personnel. |
For us, the financial difficulties really started to weigh on our relationship. We fought constantly over money, and how we would pay our bills. Money issues are really hard on any relationship, and a military family really has to stay strong to overcome these difficulties. I have used many resources to help us get on track. Resources such as military loans and grants have come to our aide many times.
It is important for all families that have members in the military to take advantage of any and all support they might need. There are many social groups out there, both formal and informal, that can offer emotional support and empathy from others in similar situations. These can be found at school and universities, community centers, churches and other places of worship, and other places. There is also solid financial assistance available both through the government and private institutions and organizations in the forms of a military loan or grant. Help is out there. So, don't despair!
